Youngsters who struggle in school often have a deficiency that doesn’t show up on a report card or in a standardized test, though it is a direct consequence of those bad grades and low scores: a lack of confidence and self-esteem. While learning difficulties or disabilities can hold students back, a lack of self-confidence can harm their efforts in school as well as their overall happiness.
“These are smart, hard-working kids,” says Lawrence Kloth, co-founder of Reading Success Plus. “They have great potential.” But because of their classroom struggles, that potential isn’t always recognized by parents, teachers, or the students themselves. Their failures, however, are made crystal clear at every marking period, on every failed assignment, whenever they’re forced to read aloud in front of the class.
Lawrence has dyslexia and ADHD. He struggled through much of his school career and understands the burden these students carry.
“I’ve heard some of them say, and I used to say it myself, that school is like a prison,” he recalls. “They hate it, they’re miserable, they don’t want to be there. And I totally get it.”
Not served by the system
Most schools use a traditional format – lectures or explanations from the teachers, followed by readings, assignments that involve more reading, and a written test.
“That’s fine for a lot of kids,” Lawrence says, “but not ours. Dyslexic students obviously will have a hard time doing that. So will kids with ADHD. These kids don’t learn by reading because they tend to be visual learners. If you use videos or hands-on activities that engage their other senses, they will learn. A student who struggles with math problems presented as a list of equations might grasp the concepts easily if they’re presented by using blocks that the student can manipulate.
“These kids are multisensory learners, but they’re stuck in a system almost exclusively reliant on reading and writing. Because they aren’t being taught in the way that they best learn, they fail, over and over. They get beaten down, learn to hate school, and really get down on themselves. They think, ‘Why am I so dumb?’
“Without some help, they will sink farther and farther.”
Making success possible
To raise these students’ self-esteem, Lawrence recommends getting to the root of their problem: their academic underperformance.
“Get them the help that they need,” he says. Make sure the school is doing everything possible to support the student, including providing accommodations that put the struggling child on a level playing field.
That may not be enough, however. Unfortunately, schools often lack the resources, understanding, or even the will to give these students the support they need. If that’s the case, outside tutoring may be the answer.
“Tutoring can do wonders for their self-esteem by helping their performance in school,” Lawrence says. “It’s proven by their grades, by their test scores. Evidence-based, multi-sensory instruction like we provide at Reading Success Plus will allow them to do better in classwork.”
Appropriate tutoring will teach the student in the way they learn best. “If you stick to teaching methods that just don’t work for these kids, they’re going to struggle mightily,” Lawrence says. “The younger generation is very visual, very kinesthetic, and that’s even more true for those with disabilities such as dyslexia, ADHD, or autism. They don’t learn the traditional way, and if we teach them in a way that fits their needs, it’s going to be huge.”
As their grades improve, the anxiety will lessen and they will feel better about themselves. They won’t feel so “different” and will find it easier to make friends and branch out into activities and interests they might have been afraid to try before.
“That will make a difference that extends all the way to their adult lives,” Lawrence says, “if we can build on their success and help them gain those critical skills that they need.”
Tutoring may be a tough sell for these kids. If they already hate school, will they embrace taking two or more hours of their free time every week for reading or math help? But the short-term pain will bring huge gains, both in school and later in life. That success will soon become apparent if the parent can help their child approach it with an open mind.
Communication
“Communicating with the kids and giving them an idea of what’s going on and why you’re doing it is important,” Lawrence says. A child who is struggling is always asking why, often in the harshest terms (“Why am I so stupid?”).
Start by talking about their struggles. For example, explain to a dyslexic child that their brain works differently, making reading and writing harder for them, but that they are still intelligent and capable of great things. Talk about the strengths of the dyslexic mind – its “superpowers.” Finally, tell them that they will be able to read and write if they get the right support. That support is tutoring. This article from the Yale Center for Dyslexia and Creativity can help you with that conversation.
“Sometimes we look at the bad grades and forget how hard these kids are working,” Lawrence says. “They are doing everything they can to improve, but it isn’t working. If they are taught in the proper way, everything will start to click.
“Like I said, these are intelligent kids. Explain why they’re struggling and why you believe that tutoring will help them succeed. You’re not just piling on more work – you’re showing them a new path to success.”
Accomplishments outside the classroom
Another way to build self-esteem is to help a child find their passion. It’s fine to make school the top priority, but students need the opportunity to explore interests outside the classroom and beyond nightly homework.
“Let the child’s interests guide you,” Lawrence says. “Maybe they’re really good at video games. By making time for that, you give them the chance to enjoy success and build some confidence.”
Visual arts, sports, music, dance, robotics, theater, and outdoor activities are among the many activities where a struggling student might excel. Success in such pursuits not only can raise their self-esteem but can elevate them in the eyes of their peers.
“For me, sports was a huge self-confidence booster,” Lawrence recalls. “It was something that I liked to do, and it gave me a chance to do something with other kids, to make friends.
“Suddenly, you’re not just the kid who struggles in school. Maybe other kids will recognize you as a great athlete, a talented actor, or a fantastic artist. It gives them a big boost.”
‘I can make it’
Building self-esteem isn’t about creating warm and fuzzy feelings or giving a youngster a false sense of accomplishment. It’s about helping the child recognize and develop their strengths while acknowledging and working to remedy their weaknesses.
“We want to make sure these kids have everything they need – academic support in school, outside tutoring, cultivation of their talents outside the classroom – so they can build a more successful future,” Lawrence says. “Whatever they want to become, we want to make sure we give them every opportunity to make that happen.
“They might not be perfect, but if they can boost their self-esteem, then they will feel like they can walk on water. ‘They’re like, ‘I can make it through this journey.’
“They will become the kind of individual every parent wants their child to become, a well-rounded citizen who has acquired the tools they need to survive in this world and who can successfully pursue their passions.”